Erin Martin, 22, first took the drug when she was offered it at a rave aged 18 and got hooked
A woman who spent £10k in six months on ketamine that left her “peeing out chunks of flesh the size of a 50p coin”, says it only takes one use to leave you hooked. Erin Martin, 22, first took the drug when she was offered it at a rave aged 18 and got hooked as she said it calmed her anxiety.
She began taking ketamine at parties every weekend before she became dependent and took it every day. At the height of her addiction, Erin was taking seven grams of ketamine per day every half an hour, costing her £70 a day, and age 20 she spent £10,000 in six months on the drug.
She said she would choose ketamine over buying food, and despite trying to kick the habit countless times, would relapse after just three days. The addiction got so bad she would have to go the toilet every 30 minutes and would even sometimes urinate “flesh”.
She even ended up hospitalised with a gallbladder infection, which she said was so painful, she wanted to die. Finally, after four years of being tormented by her addiction, Erin had an awakening in October 2025 and is now 50 days sober – thanks to attending regular meetings.
Erin, from Kent, said: “The first time I took it was at a rave, and it just made me feel safe and away with the fairies. I’m a very anxious person, and I felt like, for the first time in my life, I had medicine for my brain that worked.
“At first, I was only doing it at weekends, but then I started taking it every day, to cope with my anxiety. I couldn’t even go into town to do errands without it.
“I was choosing the drug over food; it was costing me £70 a day. I was in agony every time I went for a wee, and started peeing out chunks of flesh the size of a 50p coin.
“I ended up in hospital and doctors told me if I carried on, I’d die, and I just accepted that. I couldn’t see what it was doing to my life, and how it was affecting my friends and family.
“I’ve now come to a point where I’ve realised it doesn’t help anything, and I see it as disgusting. For the first time in my life, I feel like the stronger side is winning.
“It only takes one use get you hooked and leave you powerless to addiction, so it’s best to prevent the first use.” Erin had always struggled with an addictive personality but said that the first time she took ketamine it “set something off” inside her.
She liked that the drug’s dissociative properties helped her to feel calm and used it as a means of coping with stress. Erin took the drug on weekends and didn’t think she had a problem as she was around others who did the same.
But soon she began taking the anaesthetic after night’s out as well. She said: “No one really knew it wasn’t normal, because it’s cheap and young kids can get it, and people just don’t realise the damage they’re doing to themselves”.
By the time she was 19, Erin was taking the drug every day. “I would give myself small amounts throughout the day, every half an hour or so, I couldn’t do anything without it”, she said.
Because her tolerance was so high, Erin said she could function completely as normal, with people only noticing when she took large amounts in one go. She began to realise her drug use was a problem when an ex-partner told her to stop, but convinced ketamine was helping her mental health, she continued taking it.
“I really thought it helped my brain”, she said. Erin said she lost friends and people no longer want to go out with her as she would spend most of the night in the toilet, either taking ketamine, or going for a wee.
When ketamine is metabolised in the body, its breakdown products are excreted through the kidneys, and stored in the bladder causing bladder pain, increased urinary frequency, reduced bladder capacity and blood in the urine. Throughout her addiction, Erin said that she would have to get up every half an hour to go to the toilet, and would even sometimes urinate “flesh”.
She said: “Weeing was so painful, I couldn’t sleep because I was constantly getting woken up by the pain.” Erin’s health continued to deteriorate, and she ended up in hospital for 10 days with a gallbladder infection, after the ketamine crystallised and became stuck to her gallbladder, and then her spleen.
She said: “It was squashing my stomach so I couldn’t eat or drink anything, the cramps it caused were the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I was on morphine, but it wasn’t affecting me, I was just asking to die”.
But she was still hooked on the drug. She said: “There was absolutely no sanity to what I was doing”.
Erin was told by the doctors that she would end up dead if she carried on. In 2024, she began going to meetings, and attempted to kick her habit many times, but would always relapse after three or four days.
However, in October 2025 when she was completely “done and broken”, she had an “internal snap”, and began to believe in a “God like presence”, which she said helped her to finally stay sober. Erin now attends regular meetings, and constantly looks at photos of herself during dark times, to remind her how far she has come.
She has also distanced herself from anyone who takes the drug, and said that helping others also encourages her to stay sober. “My mum now feels like she’s got her daughter back, and I’m going to make amends to all my friends and family members, because no I can be present”, she said.
“Addiction is a disease, it makes you so powerless over it, and you can’t control how much you do. I never thought I’d be able to stop, and I want to show people that miracles can happen, and relapsing doesn’t erase your progress. “
She shares her story on her TikTok account @erin_y2k.
