The plethora of quiz and game shows on TV these days are part of our national identity but I never thought I would personally experience what it takes to bring these mini masterpieces to our screens.
In the summer my son’s girlfriend, Becky, received a call from Potato ITV, the production company behind Bullseye.
She and her father had previously enquired about taking part in last year’s Christmas special, so they wanted to know whether they would be interested in auditioning for a new series.
When she discovered her father was abroad on the filming dates, she asked whether I fancied it.
It was a very quick yes and almost immediately we were locked into a short but intense auditioning process along with thirty-five thousand other hopefuls.
Given the number of people in the mix to compete for Bully’s star prize, I was surprised how engaging and personable the casting department were.
First, after many re-takes, we submitted a short audition reel.
Then came a Zoom interview where me as the “knower” answered what were supposed to be simple general knowledge questions (you guessed it, I got some wrong) and Becky showcased her throwing skills to defined sequences.
Against all our expectations, we passed so next came the live audition at Television Centre in London. This incredible day included a condensed version of the show and, for the first time, I had to prove I could hit the board.
A few days later, the same friendly casting assistant we’d dealt with all along excitedly called to offer us a place on the show.
They were only casting for four regular episodes and a Christmas special so the maths told us that we were two of thirty people chosen. No pressure then.
After a bewildering amount of work from the production company attending to every detail, logistic and contingency (don’t they ever sleep?) filming day arrived.
Becky and I, together with my wife Julie and son Conall, travelled to Manchester, stayed overnight and then were bussed with our fellow contestants to the studios. The five hours we thought would drag flew by due to clothing selection, make up, briefing, bonding and, yes, you’ve guessed it, darts practice.
We got on with our wonderful co-contestants famously, forgetting that we would soon be competing for Bully’s Star Prize.
The crew shepherded us like secret agents around the studios as they did not want us to bump into the professional darts player who would be taking part in a challenge with the host Freddie Flintoff to win money for one team’s charity.
Every member of the production crew bustled around while treating us as if we were their very best friends to ensure, when the time came, we were gameshow ready.
We were told in broad terms what Freddie would talk to us about during the introductions but they deliberately left out certain aspects to spark authentic reactions from us.
Becky, a paediatric nurse, would be asked to demonstrate her talent for naming a body part for every letter of the alphabet.
When showtime came we were escorted on to set in front of a packed live audience, including Julie and Conall, and took our places behind our podiums.
I won’t spoil anything for those who have yet to watch it but the laughs and the throwing prowess was something to behold and we soon got to the stage where the pro darts player would appear to compete for one of our charities.
Because we were in the lead at the time it was our charity, Chestnut Tree House, that was chosen.
To her utter delight, on walked Becky’s favourite darts player, Stephen Bunting.
It was a dream come true for her when he and Freddie stepped up to the oche to take on the round the clock challenge, hoping to win thousands for our local hospice.
Did they do it? You’ll have to tune in to find out!
The whole experience, created by the toil, warmth and creativity of all involved, will stay with me forever.
Seeing the amount of work that goes in to producing every single episode, I’ll never watch another game show in the same light again and am so grateful that I’m just a man who can’t say no.
Graham and Becky’s appearance on Bullseye was broadcast on ITV on Sunday 30th November and is now available on ITVX.
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