On Thursday (March 6), in glorious spring sunshine, the actor, writer, comedian and singer chose to do exactly that.
(Well, not her own cows, of course, but some delightful Highland Cattle borrowed from Pollok Park.)
As a result, passers-by were greeted to the slightly bizarre sight of one of Scotland’s most celebrated performers shoo-ing around Siusan, aged four, Chorrach, also four, and Chorrach junior, who is just three weeks old.
Of course, the award – which is the city’s highest civic honour and will be presented to Elaine as part of Glasgow’s 850th anniversary celebrations – also entitles recipients to fish in the Clyde, patrol the city and defend Glasgow “with arms”, she points out.
“I mean, I’m from the East End, and people have been using arms there for a long time,” she jokes.
“I’d rather defend the city verbally. I’m a great advocate of this dear, green place, and if anyone is slagging it off, I’ll stand up for it.”
Later, in altogether more sedate circumstances, over tea and cake in the Lord Provost’s dining room at the City Chambers, Elaine reveals she feels “a little overwhelmed” by the occasion.
“When I read the letter, I had to leave the room,” she says. “I just burst into tears.”
She pauses. “It’s just – love or hate me, my politics mean I will never accept anything from the honours system. The only dame I’ll ever be is on the King’s theatre stage.
“I thought this kind of avenue was closed off for me. So for the city I love, that’s been my home for 45 years, to give me this…”
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She shakes her head.
“It’s amazing. It’s important to me, because I was allowed to stay and flourish. There’s a bit of cultural cringe here. ‘Billy Connolly left, Alex Ferguson left, you stayed, so you can’t be any good.’”
She sighs. “You hear things like, ‘oh, you’re not that well known in London.’ Who cares? Why do I need to be known in London? I never felt that the Scottish audience was somehow ‘less than’.
“And when we did go on tour with Rab C Nesbitt, we got a fantastic reception. We were treated like rock stars in England.”
Elaine is most famous for her stage and screen roles in the likes of Two Doors Down, Rab C Nesbitt, the King’s panto and Calendar Girls. Recently, she donated prizes to the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland and New College Lanarkshire to support the next generation of female artists.
Around 250 people, including Elaine’s family, friends and colleagues from her decades in showbiz, will gather at the City Chambers for a dinner in her honour on Friday, where she will be presented officially with the framed Freedom of the City proclamation.
Also “joining” her in the room will be a host of other women who have inspired her over the decades.
“It’s International Women’s Day on Saturday, and not many women have been given this honour – the last one was in 1969,” she explains.
“So I decided to name all the tables at the dinner in tribute to those woman who could have – and should have – been honoured.”
Glasgow rent strikes heroine Mary Barbour, Scottish politicians Maria Fyfe and Margo MacDonald, and American author and poet Maya Angelou – alongside Elaine’s late mother Stella McGarry, and mother-in-law Annie McMahon – are among those on her list.
“Great women,” she says, simply. “It’s just about having so many great women, and good men too, in the room.”
She adds, wincing slightly: “And hopefully making it slightly less about me…”
Elaine grew up in the Lanarkshire village of Newarthill, so her earliest memories of Glasgow involve going to the Barras with her dad, and shopping trips to the city’s grand department stores with her mum.
“I remember getting mussels and whelks at the Barras – and the music playing was Patsy Cline,” she recalls, smiling. “The shops – those were a big deal. Goldberg’s, Lewis’s…and the first time I went to the West End, which felt like London.”
She laughs: “My dad took me in to the city to see the new motorway being built. Going to Clouds disco, seeing Rod Stewart at the Apollo….great memories.”
Through the ups and downs of her life and career in the city, Elaine says Glasgow still has the ability to surprise her.
“There is always something new happening somewhere,” she says. “I love the vibrancy of Glasgow.”
She pauses.
“There are negatives, of course there are, and Glasgow faces challenges like every other major city,” she adds.
“But when Glasgow loves you, it loves you, and you know it.”
