My partner doesn’t listen to a thing I say. I speak, he nods and two minutes later he asks the same thing again or doesn’t do any of the simple things I repeatedly ask him to do.
For instance, I’ve lost count of the number of times I have asked him not to leave the toilet seat up. An easy request you might think. But no.
The toilet seat is up yet again, I blow my top, he shrugs …… and the cycle continues.
Also, he’ll ask something like ‘What time are we going out tonight?’.
‘7pm’.
Next minute, ‘What time are we going out tonight?’
It’s constant, very tiring, frustrating, and annoying. In fact, our five-year-old’s responses are easier to live with than his.
I love him as he’s a caring and wonderful guy, but I just want him to respect my requests and listen to me now and then.
How can I make him pay attention to what I say?
Janine.
Dear Janine,
There are many reasons why some people simply cannot retain information, or act on instruction.
Stress, autism, ADHD, depression, feeling overwhelmed, and brain injuries are just some.
Cognitive Impairment causes people not to remember things like you and I do, so accepting that our brains work differently, may help you understand that perhaps your partner isn’t simply trying to p**s you off.
The fact is, within an hour, most learners forget 50% of the information they have consumed.
So, give your guy a break, because hoping that the hundredth time you’ve asked him to do something he actually gets it right, is unlikely and unrealistic to be honest.
Accept that your partner can’t change which means you have to.
Change your attitude, alter your expectations, and adjust the way you react to him.
Focus on the reasons you love him in instead of repeatedly browbeating him with verbal abuse.
This way, he’ll feel better, you’ll feel better, and I’m sure even your five-year-old will notice an improvement in your family life.
Dear Janice,
How can you tell if someone is into you?
There’s a gorgeous girl at the gym, she smiles at me, and I smile back but that’s it.
It’s difficult to talk as she always has her EarPods in.
Any ideas on how to attract her attention and find out if she likes me?
Tom.
Dear Tom,
Trust me, if this gorgeous gym buff is into you, she will be hoping you make a move.
That said, it is considered rude to interrupt someone during their gym session, so I suggest you ‘bump’ into her on the way out, smile, start chatting and ask if she fancies going for a drink sometime.
Worst case scenario and she says no thanks, well you tried.
Tom, if you don’t ask her out, someone else will and you’ll be gutted that you held back instead of taking a chance.
And imagine she says yes?
Go for it.
