He blamed me because I had let myself go.
I did, because he constantly ignored me, I felt low and my life spiralled downwards.
A year later, I lost four stone and felt great about myself.
He saw me on social media and begged me to give our marriage another try so, despite opposition from my family and friends, I took him back.
I assumed he would be over the moon with the new me, but whenever we are alone, he continually makes nasty jibes and puts me down.
I love him, but I’m so upset at his behaviour it’s wearing me down. MK.
Dear MK, congratulations on your weight loss.
You should be feeling a million dollars, but this feeling will slowly ebb away again if you continue to allow this man to undermine and berate you.
Even if he is jealous of the new you, he has no right to treat you this way, and if he continues, you are in danger of going down the same old path of comfort eating, sadness and weight gain.
His attitude and behaviour have not changed, but if you still want to try and save this relationship, then I suggest you seek couples counselling.
This way, someone who is impartial to your situation can advise how best to move forward.
If nothing does, then why would you settle for someone who makes you unhappy instead of someone who loves and adores you?
I think it’s time to realise you need to protect yourself from this man.
Dear Janice, how do I get my daughter’s dad to include her in his life?
Four years ago, we had a fling at work, I got pregnant, he went back to his wife and moved away, and I was left “holding the baby”.
I’ve tried to contact him through social media, but he is completely ignoring me. Our daughter is at an age where she knows other kids have a dad and she doesn’t.
I just want him to be in her life, but I don’t know what to do. Grace.
Dear Grace,
Firstly, your daughter should be supported financially, and to get help with this, contact netmums.com and Citizens Advice Scotland, cas.org.uk, who can advise on how to claim for your daughter, and the benefits you as a single mum are entitled to.
Your daughter needs stability, love and continuity, and I am sure all of these needs are met by you and your family, however, there is no question that dads play a vital role in a child’s life and being absent can have a detrimental effect, but you cannot force the issue.
At some point both of you need to discuss your daughter’s future, but I am afraid that if he is adamant he wants nothing to do with her, there are no legal channels you can go through to enforce this.
Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk
