It keeps receiving recognition and, in the last two years alone, was called one of the country’s best beaches and the best beach to watch the sunset.
Some people, however, would “rather have been in Blackpool”.
After sifting through hundreds of comments on TripAdvisor, we have found seven of the most hilariously bitter reviews of our beach.
Let’s jump right in.
Kicking things off, some people Brighton’s weather to be “a paradise for those seeking torment”.
David described his July 2023 visit as “a dark, rainy and windy”, and overall “absolutely horrific”.
“When God wants to punish you, he’ll tell you to go to Brighton.”
If Brighton’s worthy of divine punishment, perhaps it’s because the man upstairs has read the latest census data which found the city was the most godless in England.
Then there’s Steve.
He visited the beach in March 2023 and memorably reported: “The water was so wet that it soaked me to the skin.”
Interesting observation since, last time we checked, water does have a tendency to do that, although perhaps Brighton’s just excels.
Next in line is Shaun who, in June 2021, said: “The entire area is pervaded by the stench of overused chip fat.”
He added: “The cafes on the beach are like a shanty town.”
Where Shaun sees “shanty town” cafes we see cosy spots brimming with character and unbeatable sea views. And the “stench” of chip fat? More like the alluring aroma of our legendary, beachfront fish and chips.
In May 2022, the Expattraveler100 was unimpressed by the seafront.
“Heavy pebbles, no sand,” they said.
But on another note, they did mention: “There is a nudist beach a short walk away so if you’re feeling brave and the sun’s out…!”
You have been warned or perhaps egged on.
People have been grumbling about the lack of sand for a long time. Back in August 2015, Charlievictor11 said they were “very disappointed with this PEBBLE beach”.
“Please avoid. Even the seagulls were pretentious and made a mess on my sister’s head as she tried to relax on the pebbles that were digging into her back.”
After all that they wished they were up north: “I would rather have been in Blackpool.
“What a crying shame.”
It takes all sorts, doesn’t it?
Finally, someone who calls themselves James_chairman merely expressed in November 2018: “Way too pebbly to be enjoyable unless you’re drunk.”
So, here we are – according to TripAdvisor reviewers, if you’re heading to Brighton beach, don’t forget your booze… or your sense of humour.
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